A couple of years ago I found myself in a divorce after a relationship/marriage of 16 years. I was heartbroken and especially the thought of not having my children around me all day and missing out on their daily routines, killed me. I was in crisis and my initial response was to start with Bikram-yoga. I don’t know why, I just did. AND I talked a lot with friends, family, colleagues or anyone else who was willing to hear my misery. All this talking was combined with food and (alcoholic) drinks. Now I know, I was distracting or calming myself down all the time. Not being able yet to feel what needed to be felt. At that moment I was anxious and numbed at the same time. There was one person who actually congratulated me and told me to be grateful to be in crisis. ‘Only a crisis can help you grow’, but I didn’t really understand it or wasn’t ready yet. Today I’m thankful for these wise words.
But than, after an incident my behavior instantly changed, just like my initial response to start with yoga. Instead of verbally going over and over again about what had happened to me, I just went to the beach with my dog Coco and that was the start of many more long strolls in nature. During these walks my thoughts went ballistic on me in the beginning, but after 2 hours everything in my head got quiet. At those moments I could enjoy a sunset, a flower, the silence, the wind etc. I felt part of nature.
Although I wasn’t aware yet, my journey to get closer to my natural state of being had started. In the following years I got help in dealing with my emotions, I gathered people around me again who made me laugh about my life instead of taking it too seriously, I picked up sports, I got more and more aware about the strength of my thoughts and my childish curiosity had returned. I can imagine this all sounds great, and it is! However, once I was back on my feet again, it was so easy to return to the previous type of life I was living, but I promised myself not to. I wanted more out of life, but especially be more my natural me, still not always aware what that actually means.
So, this blog is about all the fun things I’m doing these days (next to my job and household) to explore my natural state of being; going from food & exercises to breathing techniques, interests in shamanism, being in nature, holosyncing (is this a verb?), some challenges (like 10 days 100% all-sugar-free), daily rituals, must-read-books or events and much more. This blog however is called Your Natural State instead of My Natural State, because I know I’m not the only one on this journey and what works for me doesn’t always work for someone else, as it is an individual journey. However, I’m interested in your journey as well. So please, share your insights, activities, books to read, comments, suggestions of all kind, so it can inspire me and hopefully others.
But mostly, enjoy the ride!